The Chill Code

Muslim and Chill is a community of seekers (of knowledge, friends, life experiences, mastery, sense of purpose) who believe that it is better to seek with a group of like minded seekers. We generally tend to be young muslims able to have an open mind when needed, although being neither young, nor muslim is a requirement. Each member is a community builder by partaking in either joining, maintaining or growing the community.

As community builders, we understand that (1) each of us comes from a different lived experience, religous affiliation, perspective of life and is at a different stage of personal development, or understanding, and (2) we have to go through our own individual growth path to achieve what we seek for ourselves.

We welcome anyone who expresses an interest to join us, under the condition that each member is required to maintain a reputation of keeping other members comfortable. (i.e. is “chill”). If we witness behavior that is below the bar (i.e. not chill), we openly share our impression, while assuming positive intent.

The chill code applies to all interpersonal interactions in an M&C forum (in person, and online), even if we are comfortable with fellows to act below the bar outside M&C settings.

What’s Chill? Chill behavior is based on the underlying belief that each person is responsible for their own choice. This implies that people are comfortable with their own choice, and view different perspectives, choices, life situations or styles with an open mind, and empathy. They do not impose their perspective on others, and expect not to be imposed on by others. When asked for advice, they state their side with the expectation that their advice comes from their own lived experience, and may not be applicable to the other person’s unique situation.

It is expected that members strive to make their actions chill in M&C forums, and for slip ups, we help each other out by providing honest feedback. We will NOT be kicking anyone out, unless trust in the community is violated.

Levels of Actions or Behavior

Not Chill – Imposes at the expense of, or without consideration of others
Chill – Maintains one’s own position, without imposing on others (i.e. live and let live)
Very Chill – Adapts one’s own position with the aim to be fair, or be considerate of others
Super Chill – Adapts everyone’s position for the collective good, and consideration of everyone.

Examples of behavior that is not chill include unsolicited advice, comments targeted at a specific person or group of people, jokes at the expense of a specific person or group of people, excessive debate, or inside jokes in public.

Position on Individuality

Each person has their own unique set of individual practices based on (1) identity (e.g. belief, ethnicity, sect, gender). (2) visible choices (e.g. sense of clothing, level of religiosity, preference on intermingling with genders), (3) circumstantially visible choices (e.g. perspective on halal food, substances, addictive behavior, music, affordability), and (4) invisible choices (e.g. sexual preferences, habits, perspective on loans, organ donations).

We welcome and respect each identity, and visible choice and do not treat anyone differently.
For circumstantially visible choices, we respect there is variability in individual preferences, and do not treat anyone differently. In M&C forums, we bias towards behavior generally acceptable at a large family gathering.
For invisible choices, we respect that those are up to each and every individual, and do not treat anyone differently. We do not comment on those, and expect not to be put in a situation to comment.

Specific situations

Bullying is NOT ACCEPTABLE under any circumstance. This includes singling anyone out with negative actions, comments or jokes.
Smoking/Vaping Proceed with Caution. Second hand smoke can be bothersome, and may trigger underlying health conditions. If you have to, be mindful of personal space.
Dating and flirting : PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION : Any misstep can have irreversible effects on your, and the other party’s reputation, leading to discomfort, and risks putting you in a situation to leave the community.
Gossiping : If you can’t say it in front of someone, saying it behind their back is not chill
Cliques in public : Inside jokes, plans made around anyone not fully invited to the conversation is not chill